I’m always up to something, and I love telling Diary what’s new :)
It’s all gonna be okay! Good even (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
11/26/2024 12:57 PM
Putting a pin in my dreams once again to appease someone elses desires. It’s frustrating. Like kind of excruciatingly so, but I know I’ve still got a lot to be happy about. I have plans for the future and plans to assert myself.
11/25/2024 10:07 AM
Whenever I have a lot on my plate, I usually end up procrastinating by focusing on some unrelated silly tasks. Lately that’s been soap operas and doodles of fashionable legumes. I’m going to stay focused today though!
11/21/2024 10:38 AM
I feel recalibrated today. Took some time to assess and organize my goals. New post up on my blog.
11/19/2024 4:24 PM
Diary I know I’ve been kinda fussy lately, but I think things are starting to look up. All it really took was one amazing thing to get me out of my slump.
There’s still so much to be done, and issues that need to be addressed. However, I can’t help but just be joyful for everything right in my silly little life. More updates soon <3
11/18/2024 9:58 AM
“You always look like you’re having fun” was what one of the judges at the Chez said to me last night. It was sweet. Glad I at least looked like I was having fun, but honestly last night felt like I was selling out and it didn’t even pay off.
I don’t care about lip syncing. I resent that it’s become the standard for drag shows. I needed a video of me doing one. I had a plan to make it more interesting. Didn’t rehearse it or talk through it enough. The tech didn’t work, my instructions weren’t clear enough, and I was very frustrated. As soon as I was done on stage, I left because I was mad and no longer in the mood to hang out.
I still did have fun last night, just not with that whatever basic performance. I loved talking to the girlies at the bar and backstage. I always love doing my makeup and taking pretty pictures. Handing out my new business cards that will maybe give this website consistent double-digit traffic. I debated leaving before the finalists were announced, and I’m glad I did. Staying in situations just for appearances or to appease other people sucks. So over that. I’m allowed to put me, Flaminia, first.
11/15/2024 10:24 AM
Diary, do you ever feel like you can’t say no to someone?
Someone that asks for a lot, but somehow every single thing is critical. Diary, I care about this person a lot, but eventually I need to put my own needs and wants first. This past year I’ve been trying to learn how to be less of a pushover. The more hours I spend working on unrequited last-minute favors for this friend the more it becomes obvious there’s a pattern. I already said yes again. It was a loaded ask, but I still technically could have said no. Next time I will say no. I need to prioritize me, Flaminia. My personal goals are important and it’s not fair to put them on the backburner. I do not exist to be used.
11/12/2024 12:07 PM
Hi Diary. It’s me, Flaminia. Last update was kind of a bummer, but in the past few days I’ve seen we have a lot to be hopeful about too. We have a community that’s vibrant and resilient. We got through one of his terms, we can survive another. I want to stay optimistic. I want to believe it’s possible to have a future where politicians don’t use us as scapegoats and moral panics.
I was planning on writing a more in-depth blog post on this topic. I still might, but I’ve got a couple projects that I gotta take care of first. There’s always something, and something else… but at least I can make time to update you, Diary <3
11/11/2024 10:10 AM
The 2016 election was the first one that I was old enough to vote in. Trump winning was shocking and terrifying, but at least there was solace seeing that he had lost the popular vote by about 3 million people. This time around I’m not really shocked, but it feels worse.
He has consistently campaigned on fear, hate, and misinformation. What’s worse than his victory is the reality that there are tens of millions of Americans that support him, or didn’t care enough to oppose him.
11/06/2024 8:12 AM
Diary I’ve been sick these past few days. It really all just feels like a blur. I went to bed on Friday and just stayed there. Luckily I have a silly little cat to keep me company. Back to the real world tomorrow.
11/04/2024 7:08 PM
Happy Halloween.
I’m feeling kind of all over the place. It’s one of those days where it feels like there’s too much and not enough going on. So much I should be doing right now, but I’m so out of focus. This will pass, and I’ll try to push through it as much as I can until then. Honestly it could just be the amount of crazy shit that happened this past week, but those will be stories for my memoir someday. It’s far too much for this diary in this moment.
10/31/2024 9:31 PM
Do you believe in second chances? Third? Should you still forgive someone even after you’ve lost count of how many times they’ve hurt you?
10/30/2024 8:34 AM
Oops I haven’t updated this in a week. Oh well I suppose those days are lost to the ether. I put up another egghead. Still working on my blog retrospective about Mx. Toxic. Almost done with that (probably)
I was supposed to have a show next week, but honestly, I’m relieved it got cancelled. Promoting is hard. I’d rather just create. Mia’s got some new project she wants my help with soon. I won’t spoil the details, mostly because I still don’t know them. My drag sister Ambrosia just released a new single! I’ve got some plans of my own, but first I need to just spend time cleaning and organizing. I’ll try to keep the little updates coming though.
10/28/2024 12:27 PM
Oh Diary, I had quite the eventful weekend.
Friday night I went to a birthday party for one of my boyfriends. We all made powerpoint presentations. It was a lot of fun, and I feel like it could be a great fit for an open stage sometime in the future.
Saturday was the night of the big pageant. I’m gonna write a blog post about it soon, so I won’t tell you too much here besides that I’m grateful I got to be part of it.
Yesterday I went to one of my gay cousin’s wedding. It’s always a little strange seeing my father’s side of the family when I haven’t actually seen my father in years… Still it was wonderful of course. A lot of people asked me about my drag which was sweet. One of my straight cousins has never been to a drag show, but wants to see one of mine next time he’s in town. He asked what a drag show is like, which I think will be a good topic for a blog post down the line.
This is the first time in a while I don’t have any scheduled shows coming up. Look forward to more personal projects soon <3
10/21/2024 11:05 AM
Blog post about GLOD is up!
Last night I went to Chez Legends week 7 and had so so much fun. I haven’t been going as much as I used to because I’m usually too tired and would rather just stay in, but this week Enigma and Rory asked me to help out so I couldn’t miss it. We made like a live music video it was so cool! I’ve wanted to film more dynamically at the Chez for a while and this was a fun opportunity to experiment with that.
Rory had such phenomenal choreo (as always) and Enigma’s directorial vision was spectacular. Collaborating with other performers to do new things is so invigorating!
Toxic pageant is tomorrow. Get your tickets now if you’re coming, they’ll be cheaper if you buy them online beforehand. I’m nervous about what I’ll be sharing, but proud to be performing something with a more serious message.
10/18/2024 11:51 AM
Ahh sorry I didn’t upload those things I said I would. Like anyone’s actually checking haha. I’ve been getting ready for Mx. Toxic, getting distracted, and getting things done that aren’t related to this site.
This diary page has been super easy to update regularly though. Just reflect on what’s happened and what’s ahead. It’s comforting to check in with myself. Although it can be disorienting to see all the days piled up on top of each other. They seem steady enough now, but I know someday they’ll all collapse.
For today though, sweet dreams
10/16/2024 9:12 PM
Today I worked on a few projects:
~I started a blog retrospective about GLOD (something I plan on doing for all the shows I’m in). Hopefully that’ll be out tomorrow, but who’s to say for sure?
~Almost finished another egg head, this next one is based on a real friend. It took a while because I was having trouble modeling her curly hair. I don’t love how the hair came out in the end, but remembered this project is about making quick simple portraits to study techniques. I’ll have more chances to make curls in the future. She still looks pretty pretty.
~I submitted my audio for the alternative drag pageant I’m doing this Saturday. Mx. Toxic. It’s the first time in a long time I’ve felt nervous to present something on stage. GLOD was me having fun performing in a way that I haven’t for a while. This will be me taking serious risks in a way I haven’t in a long time. I won’t spoil what I’m doing, but I will tell you I’m exploring parts of myself that are difficult, confusing, and self-destructive. It’s not necessarily anything secret, but it’s not something I usually go out of my way to share.
10/14/2024 9:52 PM
I had a really nice birthday. I saw my family and a few friends that mean a lot to me. I didn’t want a big party. I only like lots of attention from people when it’s for my looks, not for my age. It’s a lot of work to organize too. Between my shows and general life shenanigans it just wasn’t practical to host a soiree.
Speaking of shows, GLOD was a huge success! I’ll make another blog to tell you all about it soon. xoxo
10/13/2024 10:36 PM
Today’s the big day! I haven’t actually performed in like, about 3 weeks? Who’s to say for sure, I didn’t have my diary page back then. I’ve got my aubergine nail polish on and I’m ready to go. Hope to see you there ;)
If you can’t make it, I’ll tell you all about it soon. Mwah
10/11/2024 11:56 AM
GLOD is tomorrow at 10:30 and I’m super excited!
My birthday is soon too, October 13th. This year’s been pretty major, and I have a feeling this next one’s gonna be even better ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
I’m done drifting through the years. I’ve got so many disparate dreams, and I’m building up to them a little bit more every day. Thanks for being with me, Flaminia, today. This year. Tomorrow. Whenever you’re reading this. I appreciate you <3
10/10/2024 1:15 PM
I made a new page to make little egg doodles for whoever asks. Cuz that’s totally what I need… more little projects. I am making progress towards my goals I think. It’s hard to know for sure now. In school it was always just a matter of points and numbers. I guess for a lot of other adults life is still just a numbers game. I have dreams of grandeur, but when I wake up none of it’s real. At least I’ve built this space for myself. If I can’t create a mansion, I’m happy to at least share this window.
10/08/2024 10:06 PM
Hi again diary! I’ve been so busy recently with video games and hanging out with my friends.
I do have a small site update though, I made a new page for my prestigious title, Dainty Little Lady 2024
10/07/2024 12:38 PM
I went to a party last night at Ambrosia’s house to celebrate her winning Connecticut Drag Person of the Year (and to celebrate me, Flaminia, for winning www.Flaminia.me Dainty Little Lady of the Year). It was lovely to spend time with so many people from the community while it was still early enough for me to form coherent sentences. Half the party was Gio’s family and the other half was Ambrosia’s.
Even though she can’t tell the difference between eggplant and aubergine, I’m proud of Ambrosia. For winning the contest or whatever sure, but for way more than that.
It’s been about 7 years now, maybe 8 since we first met?
Sometimes I feel like I’m not where I’m supposed to be in life yet, but when I do look back it’s obvious we have already come so far. We’ve both become confident in who we are as people and as artists. Learning to take chances and believe in ourselves. Realizing it’s okay to prioritize our own needs above other people’s expectations.
Seeing you put in the work it took to produce your music is incredible.
You have a passion and drive that will always inspire me, Flaminia.
10/05/2024 10:03 PM
Today it was Rosh Hashannah (Jewish new year). Yesterday was also Rosh Hashannah, but I wrote my diary entry earlier in the day before I remembered… whoopsy. I think I’ve grown a lot in the past lunar year. I have so much more to be grateful for.
It’s hard to say exactly what the future will hold. I’m heading in so many directions I hope I don’t end up just pacing in circles again. I get so caught up on details that so many projects of my life end up feeling like chunks of puzzles that never quite come together in the end. Just this week I started 3 blog posts that are all stuck in draft purgatory. Maybe I’ll get 1 of them out soonish. Whatever I don’t think anyone’s on life support waiting to see what I’ll say about wigs.
I know what will come together though! My two upcoming shows:
GLOD’s next week! Ryder Die, the stupendous host, announced me with the title I forgot I gave myself. Flaminia.me’s person of the year. Maybe tomorrow I’ll put up some kind of virtual plaque on my website to make that title seem more prestigious. I’ve been practicing some major choreo for the show. I’m excited to make my Trevi debut with it <3 I don’t actually care if I win or not, making a ruckus has been enough of a treat.
The week after on the 19th I have Mx. Toxic. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do and say. I signed up for this pageant to challenge myself to be more vulnerable. This has become a lot more daunting the closer the day comes, but I do know what I want to say. I hope you’ll be there to listen.
10/03/2024 11:54 PM
Beautiful October days. Even though it feels like I’ve got a bunch of deadlines coming up I still can’t help but just enjoy existing in the world. I love going for walks and seeing what my good friends, the birds, are up to. I have to allow myself at least this much luxury.
10/02/2024 4:48 PM
The days keep happening. I’ve already lost track of so many. It’s nice to have my own little place to hold onto pieces of them.
After work I had laser hair removal and then belly dance class. I started this joke totally serious feud with Ambrosia to promote our upcoming show together, but I’ve been seriously practicing for it behind the scenes. Mia gave me a really nice video camera she was done using, so I’ll be sure to get some good footage for anyone that can’t make it.
10/01/2024 9:33 PM
I helped my drag mom, Mia Egg Zalad Lay, move into her new place! It was such an honor to be the first person to clog her new toilet
09/30/2024 8:46 PM
I finally decided what I’ll be doing for the Mx. Toxic pageant! Now I just gotta keep practicing ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
09/29/2024 7:29 PM
Today it was Saturday
09/28/2024 11:23 PM
Didn’t get a chance to post to my diary yesterday because I had a dire case of oopsy I forgot. When I got home I was so tired that I slept for 13 hours. Felt amazing.
Today I have a new page up for my 3D work. The subject is a good diva friend of mine. Since it’s the first 3D model I'm putting on my site I wanted to give a comprehensive overview of the process. It would mean a lot to me, Flaminia, if you showed your support (´◡`❁)
09/27/2024 4:56 PM
Dear diary, the world continues to test me, Flaminia! Can’t trust anybody… how can they insist that Eggplant is somehow a worthy substitute for Aubergine? Frankie Cyanide had the gall to say they’re both just Purple and that we should all get along. This is far too important to forget about. The experts (my friend Rory who works at a paint store) agree with me, Flaminia. Paxx told me that some troglodytes have had the nerve to say that we’re actually wearing Mauve. Expect to hear from my lawyers.
09/25/2024 4:12 PM
Ambrosia continues to insist on being objectively incorrect about colors… tragic (′⌒`)
In other news, I’ve been working hard to get my photography and 3D art pages up. I have so much I wanna share with you, but I am oh so unorganized. I’ve got files out the wazoo. I don’t even know where to begin.
09/24/2024 3:13 PM
I realized my website is getting kind of big, so I decided to make a page just to keep track of updates! That’s this one that you’re looking at right now. Today I posted about my big serious fight with my drag sister, Ambrosia. Hopefully we can settle our differences at GLOD on October 11th.
09/23/2024 4:05 PM