Two Huge Controversies in the Drag Scene
If you’ve seen any photos of me, Flaminia, you’ll notice a pair of accessories I never leave the house without.
My Thelma and Louise, my Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, my Cher and Bob Mackie. I’m speaking of course about my artificial breasts.
Reader discretion is advised for this blog post, since it’s about breasts. Something Satan invented to send Adam off his path of virtuous ignorance, and to sell more Burger King.
Eve backstage on the set of Genesis with her naughty pillows out.
When I first started performing, I kept it a secret. Not because I was ashamed, just a little nervous and a lot ugly. You know who didn’t keep my secret? The rolled-up socks that I forgot to take out of the bra I had borrowed. Whoopsy! My jumbo humba wumbas have been causing trouble since the start.
As I developed as a character, I looked into ways to get a bigger, better bosom. I should specify that I mean better for me, Flaminia. I don’t think every queen needs to have a big chest or pad their chest at all. There’s no right or wrong way to express yourself as long as you’re doing it with intention.
I’ve always been inspired and fascinated by sex symbols and self-proclaimed bimbos. Then I got adopted into the House of Lay by Mia E.Z. Lay, an institution in the local drag scene with an extreme hourglass silhouette. I had big heels to fill, and bigger hand me down dresses. Plus, I’m a 6-foot-tall man out of drag, a bigger bust balances out my bigger frame (to a certain extent). Those are my reasons for padding more over the years. A lot of people that make cosmetic changes go to extremes. Luckily in my case, it was with prosthetics I could take off and replace instead of actual procedures.
Socks in a bra became amazon gel inserts, which became an Elea’s Closet breast bib, and eventually I found the Roanyer breastplates, which are kinda like a turtleneck sweater with boobs. I padded my hips too, and I corseted. I had a severe shape back then. Here’s a picture with my most extreme padding:
me, Flaminia, 2019. This is still one of my favorite wigs :)
Have you ever heard of the political concept of horseshoe theory? I promise I’m going somewhere with this. Horseshoe theory is the idea that ideas on the far left and far right end up having more in common with each other than the center. The extremes meet each other, like the ends of a horseshoe. This theory doesn’t always hold up, there are many issues where it’s blatantly wrong. However, I see this horseshoe effect in action when talking about fake melons.
The far right characterizes these bazongas as perverse and another example of how drag represents the degradation of Western Judeo-Christian Family Values. Meanwhile, some on the far left and within the drag community see fake boobs as cheap and misogynistic. There’s a lack of nuance to either side. They both have stringent ideas about moral purity, and don’t leave room for actual conversation. Both ends of the horseshoe are livid over a little cleavage.
My dear friend Susan? (@susanpossibly and yes, the question mark is part of her name) prompted her Instagram followers to anonymously submit their most controversial drag opinions recently. There were a lot of interesting ones! After each opinion was uploaded, Susan?s followers voted yes, kind of yes, kind of no, or no. They’re all worth talking about in more detail later, but for this article I want to focus on one anonymous users’ contribution:
“Breast plates don’t look like real boobs and the person who invented them obviously hates women”. Exactly 100 people voted on this, 23 voters agreed, 24 said kind of yes, 27 said kind of no, and 26 (me, Flaminia, included) disagreed.
This is not a new or surprising take. I’ve heard similar opinions online and in real life. It becomes a topic for unproductive twitter discourse in drag circles once every few months. I met a queen that told me in person she loved my bombshell bod, only to go behind my back and tell people she thought my chest was problematic. That’s ok, I’d rather people dislike me for having two boobs than two faces. This anon in particular is extra frustrating because of the phrase “obviously hates women”. I understand why some people are critical of these prosthetics, I have my own qualms with them. However, I can’t understand making such a loaded statement like that.
Many breastplates don’t resemble natural breasts, this is true. They can look realistic depending on what size you get and what clothes you wear them with. Some are ridiculous and get worn as a cheap joke. This is something people said about talent numbers from Yara Sofia and Plane Jane (embedded below), and a criticism Jimbo (pictured above as Eve) gets on a pretty consistent basis.
The sizes available have ballooned and there’s an increasing amount of absurd novelty plates coming out. Just last month I got a promotional email for one plate with 4 massive breasts. Two rows of two, not one row of four in case you’re trying to imagine it, I will not be posting a picture of it here.
There are countless horror stories from people with breasts about things they’ve had to deal with because of bodies out of their control. I’m a cis man out of drag, and while I’ve got some impressive pecs, it’s impossible for me, Ben, to fully understand that. I do understand that men putting on boobs solely as a punchline can be offensive. Deciding when it crosses that line can get tricky though. I asked a friend that has a couple more qualifications to answer this than I do.
My birthday twin Chai (@dragchai) is a female drag queen that underwent breast reduction surgery; Mostly to help with pain, but partly just personal aesthetic preference. Now, she’s considering getting her own breastplate for some looks. “Some people use the plate for good and some… use the plate for evil” she said. “I’ve never just seen someone in boobs and been outraged at that, but then people come around and they’re shaking them like maracas and laughing at women… and making it seem like women are JUST boobs”. Frizzie Borden (@frizzie_borden) is another female drag queen that shared a similar sentiment.
I’ve sized down over the years for a few reasons. My aesthetics further evolved over time, and now I prefer a more sinewy look for myself. The idea of artifice is still central to my character, but now it’s less like Jessica Rabbit or Angelyne and more like a Victoria’s Secret model. Another reason I downsized is that it’s hard to find clothes that fit when you have the body proportions of a cartoon character. The biggest reason is that I’m sick of people fixating on them! I hated being known as JUST boobs. I hate that the first question I get from people seeing my drag for the first time is just “how do you have boobs?” I get comments like that a lot less frequently now, and I’m actually considering downsizing even more soon.
Big fake breasts, whether prosthetic or surgical can be misogynistic. The culture we live in that has made this artificial body type into a beauty ideal is certainly misogynistic. However, telling people how to make choices with their own bodies, real or fake, can also be misogynistic and even puritanical. The line between expression and exploitation can be blurry, but that’s just the way life is. The internet loves easy answers and scathing indictments, but the truth is always more complicated than the ends of a horseshoe will make it seem.
If you’re not in the drag bubble, it’s possible all this discourse was completely brand new to you. I hope you found my examination interesting. There’s a lot more I had to say. The original anecdote that inspired this topic didn’t even end up fitting into this blog, but this seems like about the right length for something you’re probably just reading while procrastinating from work or sitting on a toilet. So, I’m gonna quit yapping for now.
If you wanna hear more from me, Flaminia, sign up for my mailing list below! If you have thoughts on this topic, or anything else, my inbox is open and I’d love to hear from you, not Flaminia.
Ciao for now ♡
