Ambrosia is Over
One of the first people I met in the drag scene was my drag sister, Ambrosia.
You can click her name to read more about her, I’ve linked a Connecticut Drag dot com article about her using my skills as an expert webstress. You could vote for her there too, if you’re so inclined. Beware… if you only read that article, you’re only seeing one of her many diabolical twisted sinister evil malicious devilish faces.
As the article mentions, it was me, Flaminia, who introduced Ambrosia to the drag scene many moons ago. The article didn’t get everything right though. We didn’t meet at Karaoke, we met on Grindr. It was me, Flaminia, who brought her into this world of shimmers and shimmies. We were boogers together, shaking around a fancy restaurant for a chance to win 100 dollars in a competition that no longer exists. Laughing our newly padded asses off in the parking lot of the Chez. Those were simpler times. Before Ambrosia behaved so egregiously and betrayed me, Flaminia.
For four years I disappeared into the nearly impenetrable jungles of the exotic land of Massachusetts. I wanted to try to live a simpler life as a housewife. I’m never doing that again, it sucked. To my surprise, there was WiFi in this strange faraway place. I was able to witness my sisters meteoric rise to D-list local gay celebrity status. She won Chez Legends and started hosting her own shows. Like Girls, Girls, Girls this Friday night, September 27th at the Chez Est. Despite her egregious behavior and betrayal I will be attending. She’s been nominated for the illustrious totally not clickbait title of Connecticut Drag dot coms Person of the Year, AKA the CTDdcPotY’s. Despite her egregious behavior and betrayal, I have been voting. All of this success has gotten to her head, and she’s become a monster!
By now you’re probably on the edge of your seat wondering what she did that was so egregious and betraitorous. Perhaps you’re standing up. In which case, you’re probably dizzy with anticipation and should sit down (at the edge of your seat of course).
We were planning on doing a glamorous photoshoot this weekend. We had coordinated outfits, and I had booked the most glamorous photography studio in all of WeHa. Then tragedy struck. Everything was perfect, except for 10 major problems. I had told Ambrosia we were to wear Aubergine nail polish for the photoshoot. This dumb stupid idiot bitch came to the studio wearing Eggplant. How could we possibly look remotely editorial when one of us was wearing such an unsophisticated shade of purple?
“They look identical, I literally can’t see a difference” lied Ambrosia, in a liaresque fashion.
“Change your nail polish right now you dumb stupid idiot bitch!” I was being as nice about the situation as I possibly could be, given the circumstances.
“I’m tired, let’s just take some pictures already. You’re being hysterical.”
“I AM NOT BEING HYSTERICAL!” I replied, as calm as a cucumber and as graceful as an aubergine. Then I gently threw the nearest vase I had at her.
After refusing to take constructive criticism or sweep up the huge mess she made by making me throw that vase at her, Ambrosia left. We didn’t get any photos.
Obviously, there’s only one way to settle this…
A Gorgeous Legends of Drag match at Trevi Lounge
presented by Ryder Die.
October 11th at 9:30 PM.
For no cover of course.
Are you #teamAubergine or #teamEggplant?
