Flaminia Reviews: Hearts in Harmony
Hey everyone, it’s me, Flaminia. Hope you’re having a good day (you, specifically).
We live in such a remarkable time for culture. Every day there are so many new and exciting movies, tv shows, and tiktoks of paint being mixed together being released. It’s all right here at our fingertips. If we press the right little buttons we can watch literally anything thanks to piracy legal streaming websites. Netflix, Hulu, Shudder, Freevee, Tubi, Quibi, Yoplait, Disney+. Wow! So many choices. I know exactly what piece of media is on everyone’s mind right now. Finally I can optimize my SEO or whatever and make website number go up. Of course you know I’m talking about the Kroger™ original 1946-1948 radio drama Hearts in Harmony.
When I’m alone I’ve gotten into the habit of needing something to listen to to fall asleep. For a while my go to were youtube video reviews that I had already listened to before (I used code IZZZYZZZ for this square space). Recently though I wanted to try something a little different. There’s a story I’m working on. The protagonist wants to be a soap star (there’s a little bit more to it than that, but for the sake of this review that’s all you need to know). I’ve gotten kinda into soaps doing research for it. I watched about 30 episodes of Peyton Place (about a third of season one). Anyways, I knew from my research that soap operas started on radio. On a whim late one night I searched “Radio Soap Opera” and found this show on youtube.
I wanna tell you all about Hearts in Harmony. The series that Old Time Radio Downloads dot com gave two and a half stars. There’s a narrator, you don’t hear those often these days. The plot revolves around… someone? I’m not sure I honestly barely pay attention to about 90% of it. I couldn’t tell you a single main characters name. It takes place in a small town, for sure, probably. When I do tune in I can usually follow the small conversations that are happening in those soothing transatlantic accents. Something about transatlantic accents makes actors sound like androids doing their best to pass a turing test.
I remember a scene where a young woman has to convince her rascal boyfriend to swallow his pride and politely ask for a job from her father. The next scene is the father and his wife arguing because she thinks he’s a rascal that will never change. Couldn’t tell you anyone’s names from those scenes though. I don’t even think anyone called the boyfriend a rascal, but it was probably something equally 1940’s sounding. Couldn’t even tell you the episode number (it’s maybe 20 something?). What I do remember though… is the absolutely unhinged Kroger™ advertisements.
Every single 15 minute episode starts and ends with a message from the sponsors. That means each episode is about 30 percent Kroger™ advertisements. Almost every single ad mentions the supermarkets incredible beef… well the incredible beef they would have had. There was a beef shortage going on in 1946. I can only image why. Can you think of any noteworthy global events that could have caused this? Hmm neither can I. Oh well, good thing we both tried. For some reason the ads all talk about how delicious and succulent the beef is followed by the commercial man explaining that we will have to wait for our sweet red meats because the grain is needed overseas. It’s such a baffling aspect to highlight? The first few times I heard it I was curious. By episode 20 something the ads are still talking like oh boy it sure would be swell to have a hearty Kroger™ brand steak right now… too bad you can’t… but keep waiting… and buy some chicken.
It was too weird for me not to share with someone, and this seemed like the type of rant that I couldn’t just text so I literally needed to tell you all via blog entry. I’m not that hooked by this plot, but I am on the edge of my seat waiting to find out when Kroger™ will get more cow.
I’ve never been to any of these supermarkets, but they are still around today. I should ask if they have burgers.
